Imagine a future...

...where you're still jobless, nearly two months after the fact. Depressing, innit?

Well, you don't have to be depressed, but good luck with that. When you apply to places that say they're hiring and they need people and you don't get a call back, you kind of wonder if you've failed at impressing them enough with your front-and-back-filled-out-application-with-references-and-previous-job-history-and-everything. Or you wonder if maybe you should start to lie about your job history and see how far that gets you (it's very tempting, let me tell you). Or maybe you just wonder whether or not you should give up looking for a job in such a terrible economy and move back in with your mom, go back to school, and just do something very part-time.

If I don't rectify this situation post-haste, I'm fucked.

Santiago

Have some chat (stew)!

[03:22PM] ian: oh i quit my job
[03:22PM] alex: which oen
[03:22PM] ian: sushi
[03:22PM] ian: the manager was being a fucking dick today
[03:22PM] alex: so you just walked out?
[03:22PM] ian: well
[03:23PM] ian: the other server had asked where the lids for togo cups were, and he flipped shit on her
[03:23PM] ian: so she asked me, and i showed her
[03:23PM] ian: then i went up to him and told him i thought he overreacted a bit
[03:23PM] ian: then he flipped shit on me
[03:23PM] ian: aaaaaaaaand then when i went back to the kitchen a bit later, he brought it up and said if i ever fucking did it again, i was fired
[03:24PM] ian: so i repeated myself, and he went off again, and i told him that i don't have to put up with that shit and that i quit
[03:24PM] alex: awesome
[03:24PM] alex: fuck that faggot
[03:24PM] ian: yeah, he can fuck right off
[03:24PM] ian: brb gotta go warm up my curry

I don't update this thing enough

Hi blog world~

There're some changes going on in my life. Like, moving to an apartment near Riverside, losing my car to the ravages of time and/or space aliens, and starting work at a new sushi bar.

Uh...that's about it, kids.

I found a nice new comic called Bear and Kitten

http://www.south20th.com/

Well, technically not new, but it's still pretty rad. <3 Thanks Pokémon thread at SA!

So I've been kind of down in the dumps lately, but I don't know what started it all. Maybe it was the not enjoying my job as much as I used to, or the fact that the amount of money I make now is $600 or so less than what I was making a year ago, or that I probably won't get to leave this state for a while.

But! I have awesome friends, and I would definitely stay to be around them and also my family. Well, maybe my family, but the friends are for sure. Who else would praise me for finding a Hunter S. Thompson tribute beer, or Root Beer Beer. We all agreed that it was fucking delicious. Natch.

I need a better job, so I guess I'll start applying places. Ugh. At least I have weekends off at this place, which is kind of retarded since you technically make the most on weekends... but I don't care. I've never had a job that I could take weekends off, or have a schedule that's close to something you would have at some career-type place. Like an office.

Or OUTER SPACE.

हियर इस अ ब्लॉग इ व्रोते! इन हिन्दी!

Dead At 31

From Cancer

View my profile: ptolemy_booth

Find out when and why you'll die, take The Death Test!

Change

I don't get it.

How does one end up well adjusted? Is it bestowed upon them in a magical ceremony, or does it come from growing up in a "normal" family? Is it learned independently of people, or by their willingness to help you figure it out?

I go through life with this purpose: to be the best that I can for myself, and for everyone around me. But, is it purpose that keeps you in line, that keeps you striving for that seemingly unattainable goal of adjustedness? It has to be. I mean, that's what keeps me going. Most days, I don't want to get out of bed, and repeatedly mash my snooze button until the alarm goes away, and I can get back to my fucked up dreamscape. (And, by fucked up, I mean completely awesome.) Other days, I'm ready and willing to get my ass in gear, to tackle the day and accomplish what needs to be done. It's hanging onto that motivation that's the problem.

I still haven't quite gotten the hang of being energetic, of being driven. All throughout my life, I've wished that I would push myself more. I don't want to end up like my father, whose life is no longer his own. I don't see him very often, and haven't since I was very young, so I've had to pretty much replace him with other male influences. Some good, and some not so good, and some that are just plain bad. But, from all of them, I've found that their goals keep them moving.

Maybe that's my problem, that I don't have super-solid goals. The biggest thing I've got right now is getting out of Oklahoma. I want to be in California, and I have for a very long time. It just seems... right. Like it's where I belong. Doing what, I'm not sure, and I'm really not even sure that I can make it out there when I want to, but I'm trying. It's what I tell myself, that I'll get there if I just try my hardest. That's my motivation. Some people encourage me with no other reason than that they want to; others question my motives, wondering why I would choose there, or asking how I could leave my family and friends and everything familiar to me behind.

Change is necessary, and needed, and it's what I want.

OH MY PORK

So, yesterday was my birthday party. It was fantastic! Everyone brought food, there was much alcohol and a hot tub, and we ended it with Guitar Hero. I couldn't have asked for a better gathering. :)

Here're some highlights from the day~

In the process of making a pie yesterday afternoon, before the party, I did this:

And THIS is the crowning glory...The Mother 3 Handbook! I've got a huge hardon for anything EarthBound/Mother related, so this... this is amazing. Thank you again, David!

Here's a shot of the covers; the one on the left is the dustcover, and the one on the right is the actual cover:

Here's the poster on the back side of the cover:

Adventures suck sometimes :(

This'll be brief, due to my being mobile at the mo'.

I spent all of last week stranded in Edmond, due to my car hating me and Will offering to help repair it. What I thought was going to be a weekend of us working on the car turned into a week of making sure we hadn't broken anything! But, we did accomplish what we set out to, so I'm grateful. :)
What I didn't enjoy was Denae's standoffishness, her apparent inability to cope with reality without drugs, and Will's placation of her to the point that he's emotionally submissive yet subversive.
Now, believe me, I'm no pillar of mental stability, but being Empathic allows me a certain sense for these things. If you can't handle life without needing to chemically alter your perception of everything, then how can you really LIVE your life...? I posit this question not only for my benefit, but for the benifit of those I love and care for deeply.

The car's running just fine now, with the help of a very friendly man named Johnny. He's a GM Certified Tech, and was able to properly re-time my beast with no issue! I just wish the whole ordeal hadn't've been fraught with so much tension and discomfort. My hope is that we all have learned something from this, and that we grow towards being better people.

I hate you all, too.

Fuck this guy for writing it, and fuck Maya for stealing it, but fuck you if you don't read it.

"I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or whom you've fucked.
I hate you all. I hate every last living, breathing, snot and feces producing, promiscuously copulating, celebrity obsessed, opinionated one of you. From right here in Toronto right around the planet and back, coast to coast, nationwide and internationally. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. You.
Fuck love. Fuck your insipid grasping at some abstract concept of chemical imbalances and reasonless actions, fumbling around in the crowd trying to find some cinematic supposition for real human interaction. Fuck lust, too. Fuck you all, from the lowlife dirtbags that think dropping trou and waving the little soldier in a sloppy arc is a pick-up line to the sniveling of the desperate 'nice guys' who never get the girl due to a total lack of testosterone grown stones. Fuck you all, from the crazy, under dressed sluts that judge a persons character by the price of their shirt, right down to the fat, flabby chicks that think personality is enough.
Fuck you drivers, for thinking that a yellow light is a sign that says 'step on the gas'. Fuck you wheelmen and women that think it's okay to sit in a left hand turn in the middle of morning traffic, even though there is a protected left in the intersections before and after where you need to make your turn. Fuck you too cyclists - you're not exempt from the traffic laws just because your peddling, you miserable spandex covered neon reflective fucks. Fuck you too, pedestrians. Use the fucking crosswalk if you don't want to get hit, and use it before the little countdown clock says '3'. You don't have enough goddamn time to lope across four lanes of traffic.
Fuck you chick on your cellphone. Fuck you attitude packed minimum-wager that makes my coffee. Fuck you cops that spend all their time handing out speeding tickets. Fuck you douche bag doing ten over the limit in the passing lane on the highway. Fuck you lady using exact change at the counter at the grocery store. Fuck you kids having a conversation in the doorway. And fuck you also for not getting the fuck out of your designated handicapped seat when a pregnant or elderly person gets on the fucking bus.
Fuck taxes. Fuck welfare. Fuck the whole selfish, over politicized and party driven government system. I'm sick and fucking tired of policies and new laws with seven hundred bylaws that nobody but you and your cabinet reads. Fuck you councilors and your stupid 'district improvement' plans. Fuck you unions, for asking for so much and giving nothing more that what you already give. Fuck the whole process that allows people who are supposed to be working for us work for interests that only benefit the next campaign. Fuck your short-sightedness, your rush to the bandwagons, and your incessant arguing over fuck all. Fuck the parties, fuck the conventions, and fuck your campaigns. Do some real fucking work for a change.
Fuck you bottles of water. You're water. You're not worth two fucking dollars.
Fuck you trendsetters, fuck you fashionistas. Fuck your little dogs and and your idiotic outfits. Fuck your high heels in the snow. Fuck your five dollar coffees and your fifteen dollar veggie burgers. Fuck your health kick, your diet or your fucking new interest in kickboxing or sushi.
Fuck your culture. Fuck your race. Fuck your sense of entitlement. Fuck your sense of uniqueness. Fuck you all for the belief that you have something unique and interesting to contribute. Fuck you for filling the internet with your useless garbage. Fuck your blogs, your wikis, your forums. Fuck your name calling. And most of all, fuck whatever you believe. It's all wrong. Fuck it.
Fuck your complaints. Fuck your addictions. Fuck your dependencies. Fuck your pain. Fuck your tears. Fuck selling whatever it is you sell. Fuck your manipulation of others. Fuck movies. Fuck fucking. Fuck everything you own. Fuck your allergies. Fuck your stupid commons sense. Fuck your spelling and fuck your lack of education, or your ignorance, whatever is applicable.
I don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up and just get on with it."

I'm on a Boat

motherfucker, and don't you ever forget!

I'm glad things've been going so well lately, and for those that've been touched by that Hand of Fate. But, you still pick your own path, no matter how you're told you should follow it.

For those that've had it rough, I offer my condolences. There's light on the other side of that mountain... so keep climbing! :)

Ugh

The weekend has gone fine, but... I just want it to be simple again.

))<>((

This entry will be several things:

• That 25 random whatevers thing that's going around the ol' FB.
• The tale of my brief reemployment at Fuji on Brookside.
• Whatever-the-fuck-else I wanna write in here, because it's my blog?
• Puppies.

I make no guarantees that everything listed will show up, but I'll do my best. Also, any pictures, whether borrowed or stolen (or my own?) are copyright whoever they belong to.


Here're 25 things about me. I hope they're enlightening to you, or anyone!

1. I like to smoke pot. I really, really like it. It helps me focus and keeps me sane!
2. I miss my cat, Galvin.
3. I regret getting married as early as I did, but I don't regret the experience of it, at all.
4. From reading the internet, and consulting friends, I've come to the conclusion that I have OCPD, or Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.
5. I want to get back into music.
6. Mountain Dew: Baja Blast? Best idea ever. They just need to sell it OUTSIDE of goddamn Taco Bell.
7. I was bitten by a dog once. The worst thing about that, aside from my being around 5 years old, was that it was some tiny froo froo dog.
8. Final Fantasy XI is better than WoW, imho.
9. I still love you. All of you. And, you should know who you are.
10. I broke into my brother's friend's house through their dog door once, and stole a Game Boy game. Specifically, Final Fantasy Adventure.
11. I hate homework. I refuse to do most, if not all, of it.
12. That's probably why I never did live up to teachers' standards.
13. I wish magic were more magical than subtle.
14. All of you crazy women that are out there, possibly looking for me, should stop right now. I have enough of you to deal with.
15. Bacon is delicious and I can't believe I'd ever forsake it.
16. I pirate video games, music, movies, tv shows... you know, whatever I'm interested in. I only download, but it's for personal use.
17. Murder By Death is my favourite band. I also like a lot of other things, according to my Last.fm profile.
18. I like to cuss. Watch out or I may cuss you real good!
19. The day the Zombie Apocalypse is upon is is the day that you'll see how the world truly is, and that is awesome.
20. I really don't enjoy organised religion, because if we were created, wouldn't we have some evidence that was, you know...visible? Aside from the Word and all, we get a silent God, who isn't gloating about his badass science project to his fellow classmates, but squandering it by ignoring us and wanting to impress his friends with other things.
21. I just got back from picking up a drunk girl that I barely know, because she needed help. I would do that for anyone that needed it of me.
22. I love my dad.
23. I'm really not a bad guy, once you get to know me. I come off as dickish, but that's because I'm insecure.
24. I also like waffles more than pancakes.
25. I wouldn't be where I am without all your help. Thanks.

===

I've been thinking a lot lately. I know I've said it before, too (you don't have to scroll too far down to see that!) I just wanna change my life, you know? To do that, I've started getting myself out there, being social. I'm having fun with friends, doing crazy things like volunteering to host at my old restaurant job, because it was so busy that having two new hostesses do it was retarded. I got free sake out of it, so I was fine! And then, later in the night, one of my new friends asks me to come help her, because she's stuck at the QuikTrip on 71st and Riverside. She's also piss drunk, and high, and laughing crazily. I don't know how I end up meeting these girls.

I just want a normal life. Is that so much to ask? I don't think so.

Ice Castles

There's been so much going on recently that it's kind of hard to keep track of it all. One minute, I may be working, driving pizzas all over the not-so-great-town of Bixby. The next? Downtown at a bar with my new (or old!) friends, or hanging out at a former coworker's apartment.

The point is that my life is going into overdrive, and I'm not quite sure how to pace myself yet. Yeah, I'll get there eventually, but what about RIGHT NOW??? What about all the sleep I need, or the bonds I want to strengthen? Booze to be had, drugs to be consumed, fast women, loose cars...? There's just so much that I want to do, but there're things that I need to do before all that.

I need my car fixed. There're several things still wrong with it, some minor, and others... It's gonna take some time, but it's coming along nicely.

I need to save money. Delivering pizza is awesome, and getting tipped WITHOUT having to claim it? Awesomer. It's just a matter of making those tips last as long as I can, and to do that, I just need to have them teleported from my wallet to my bank account automatically. Anyone have that technology yet? If so, you know where to reach me. ;-*

I need to reconnect with my family. My mother, brother, sisters, father, aunts, uncles, cousins... I miss them all so much. Just this past weekend, though, I went to spend the day with my dad (who lives in Kansas), and had a great time! He gave me new shoes and a new jacket, money to help me out (used it to get my front tires replaced), AND he bought the movie tickets for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE TO EVERYONE SO JUST GO SEE IT

I need to find my center. I think my problem with everything else is that I don't have a lot of focus right now. I mean, I have goals, but no direction. It's like I'm Scott Summers, but without the special glasses that keep me from destroying everything with my "optic blasts". As soon as I get them, you'd better watch out! I've been working on this a lot lately, and am finally starting to display the confidence that I've let go to waste all these years.

There's so much more to this, but it'll have to wait. It's 5 in the damned morning. -_-

Good morning, sun.

This'll be great!

It's really weird.

I'm starting to see how things fit together.

It's like a puzzle, and you start out with a hundred pieces and a box with a picture on it. It's brand new, because you and your friend just went out and bought it, and hadn't even undone the tape or paper or whatever holds the box closed. In your mind, maybe you're wondering, "Wow, if I hope real hard, the puzzle will already be finished and I can just frame it and put it on the wall!"

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Well, tough luck, bucko.

I slept

through the inauguration.

I'm the worst person. :(

Welp,

It's still sunday!

Mostly because I haven't gone to sleep. Also I have to be at work in 40 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Notorious

I went out with a girl and her friends, and saw the moviementary on Biggie. It was awesome! What a sad thing, though, losing his life at such a young age.
After that, went to Rehab Lounge, downtown. Had a drink and a beer, some water, and did a little dancing. Now I'm at home in the comfort of my room, and I'm wishing I'd done more.

Oh well!

Tomorrow's a new day. Got a lot of things to work on, but I'm gonna get after it quicker than Speedy Gonzalez getting away from Sylvester. Night!

This is it.

It's the start of the new year (2009, and no deadly threats from SH/SC). This is gonna be awesome!

You're probably wondering why I might be starting there, or even why I'm starting this at all! Well, it's a long story, and very interesting, but; know that if you ask when I'm able to, I'll tell you about it. I promise!

I'm gonna work on importing a backlog of things from my last Blogger site, so check back now and then for old/new updates! They're probably embarrassing, seeing as how I was...nevermind. Another long story that I really don't have time to get into! Just listen to this song, and you'll know why.

Adieu, fair readers. Adieu.

~*fartz*~